This is common in neurodivergent individuals—including those with ADHD, autism, and dyslexia—and it often defies the expectations others place on “consistent” performance. The spikes are not a flaw. They are simply how the brain is wired: dynamic, nonlinear, and deeply unique.

How It Shows Up

• The person can do something brilliantly one day and struggle with it the next

• They may have high verbal intelligence but difficulty following a multi-step spoken instruction

• They might write poetically but misspell common words

• Strong technical or creative output may coexist with major difficulties in time management or organization

• Others may assume they’re “not trying” or “being inconsistent,” when in reality their strengths and challenges are simply more visible

• They may internalize shame or confusion around why they can’t do “basic” things when they excel in “hard” ones

Relationship Impact

Spiky profiles can be disorienting for partners. One day, your partner articulates their thoughts clearly, shows up fully, remembers every detail. The next, they can’t track the plan or follow through—and it feels like whiplash.

This inconsistency can erode trust if it’s not understood. The neurodiverse partner may feel unseen for their efforts and criticized for their struggles. The neurotypical partner may feel confused, unsupported, or like they’re constantly recalibrating expectations.

Without language to name this dynamic, both people may begin to doubt themselves—or each other.

What Helps

• Name the spikes: Acknowledge both the high abilities and the low-friction zones. They coexist—and both deserve respect.

• Shift the metric: Instead of measuring consistency, look at effort, intention, and recovery. Progress may be non-linear—and that’s okay.

• Create scaffolding: For areas that consistently trip someone up, add tools or routines (visual reminders, shared calendars, body doubling).

• Celebrate strengths consciously: Don’t just notice the gaps. Reflect on the brilliance too—the innovative ideas, the unusual insights, the depth of thought.

• Collaborate, don’t compensate: Instead of one person over-functioning, co-create systems that support unevenness without resentment.

• Let go of “shoulds”: Release the myth that capability must equal predictability. In spiky profiles, variability is the pattern.

The Invitation

A spiky profile isn’t broken. It’s just not flat. Like a mountain range, it includes breathtaking peaks and quiet valleys. The key is learning how to navigate the terrain—with curiosity, humility, and shared maps.