It can happen to anyone, but it occurs more frequently and intensely in people with ADHD or other forms of neurodivergence, where emotional regulation is already under strain. The response is not intentional—it’s physiological.

How It Shows Up

• Sudden silence, freezing, or mental blanking out

• Escalating emotion—tears, raised voice, reactivity

• Saying things you don’t mean—or forgetting what you wanted to say

• Physically leaving a conversation or dissociating

• Feeling deep regret or shame afterward

• Having no words, even when you want to explain

Relationship Impact

Flooding can derail even the most well-intentioned conversations. One partner may be trying to resolve something, while the other is no longer emotionally present. Without understanding, this creates painful misattunements: one person feels abandoned, the other feels under attack or emotionally hijacked.

Over time, emotional flooding can become a cycle—predictable but hard to break. It often leads to confusion, mistrust, or both people feeling “too much” for each other.

What Helps

• Pause the moment: Create safety by agreeing that either partner can call a time-out

• Soothing over solving: Try physical comfort, quiet, or co-regulation before continuing the conversation

• Shorten communication: Speak in calm, simple phrases—long explanations add load

• Debrief later: Once regulated, revisit what happened with care, not blame

• Know the signs: Learn what it feels like in your body and in your partner’s so you can catch it early

• Normalize it: You’re not broken. You’re human. And you’re working on it together.